Thursday, March 01, 2007
Do I have what it takes?
i thought i've dealt with it already; i thought i've accepted it already
but now, i'm scared again...
tonight, was missions night, and Rev David was preaching about how God can use people when they avail themselves. and for altar call, he asked those with Full Time calling to go to the altars... well, i've known my calling for many many years already, and different pastors, leaders, people, have affirmed it, and i've actually accepted it, but tonight, i just didn't have what it takes to surrender it all again... i struggled with God today... and in the end, i just hardened my heart and stayed where i was, as in my seat... and yah, i can imagine God scolding me, "Brian, you of little faith..."
and now i ask myself, "do i have what it takes?"
my answer - i don't know.
but now, i'm scared again...
tonight, was missions night, and Rev David was preaching about how God can use people when they avail themselves. and for altar call, he asked those with Full Time calling to go to the altars... well, i've known my calling for many many years already, and different pastors, leaders, people, have affirmed it, and i've actually accepted it, but tonight, i just didn't have what it takes to surrender it all again... i struggled with God today... and in the end, i just hardened my heart and stayed where i was, as in my seat... and yah, i can imagine God scolding me, "Brian, you of little faith..."
and now i ask myself, "do i have what it takes?"
my answer - i don't know.
# posted by babyflyaway// @ 11:46 PM 
