Monday, December 12, 2005
depressing entry...
dun read if you think you'll be stumbled... to read, pls highlight it... it's in white... but if you somehow, still read it and got stumbled... pls look for me... seriously...
kk... how should i begin... i honestly dunno... well... certain things happened today... miscommunication and misunderstanding... but with my parents, it's close to impossible to patch things up and clear it up... cos it'll lead to greater misunderstanding... so i'd rather leave it hanging... anyway... reflecting on my past 2 blog entries... it made me think... why did i blog what i blogged?? any reasons??? i know it's definately not to put others on the spot to get into the list... or disencourage those whose names ore not on the list... *otherwise, it'll be stumbling already*
i've been thinking for the past 3 hours or so... well... honestly, these are the pple that make me want to carry on with life and i want to be a blessing to them... minister to them, comfort them, support them, pray for/ with them, see them grow into the person of destiny... and so on... but when i think deeper into it... if you were to remove all these pple from my life, i would have given up living long ago... yes, i admit that i was close to doing some stupid things in life, but... these pple are the ones that give me the strength to live on... and hang on... seriously... though i love my family and they play an important part of my life/ growth, i think that i'll be able to live on my own... *if i had financial support... i dun intend to work yet* and well... though i have friends in school and so on... i never do develop a close friendship/ relationship with them... *refer to my entry on friends... about the different definations* they are just aquantences to me... i dun really treat them as friends... i mean... yah, they're my "friends" but i just treat them as classmates... not friends... out of school, they are just like any other strangers that i have seen before... yah... but these pple in my list just give me a motivation to see them grow in the Lord and it gives me a sense of achievement that God used me to help nature them... like... i love to be used by Him lah... in any and everyway... but other than serving Him and letting Him use me... i dunno what my life is for... He has yet to show me my purpose of life... sometimes i just wonder... has He forgotten me??? but then again... i'm glad to have friends as these...
ok... i think that's enough said... if i feel i should say more... then i'll blog again... and dun forget to look for me if you really got stumbled by my blog... especially those on that list!!!
kk... how should i begin... i honestly dunno... well... certain things happened today... miscommunication and misunderstanding... but with my parents, it's close to impossible to patch things up and clear it up... cos it'll lead to greater misunderstanding... so i'd rather leave it hanging... anyway... reflecting on my past 2 blog entries... it made me think... why did i blog what i blogged?? any reasons??? i know it's definately not to put others on the spot to get into the list... or disencourage those whose names ore not on the list... *otherwise, it'll be stumbling already*
i've been thinking for the past 3 hours or so... well... honestly, these are the pple that make me want to carry on with life and i want to be a blessing to them... minister to them, comfort them, support them, pray for/ with them, see them grow into the person of destiny... and so on... but when i think deeper into it... if you were to remove all these pple from my life, i would have given up living long ago... yes, i admit that i was close to doing some stupid things in life, but... these pple are the ones that give me the strength to live on... and hang on... seriously... though i love my family and they play an important part of my life/ growth, i think that i'll be able to live on my own... *if i had financial support... i dun intend to work yet* and well... though i have friends in school and so on... i never do develop a close friendship/ relationship with them... *refer to my entry on friends... about the different definations* they are just aquantences to me... i dun really treat them as friends... i mean... yah, they're my "friends" but i just treat them as classmates... not friends... out of school, they are just like any other strangers that i have seen before... yah... but these pple in my list just give me a motivation to see them grow in the Lord and it gives me a sense of achievement that God used me to help nature them... like... i love to be used by Him lah... in any and everyway... but other than serving Him and letting Him use me... i dunno what my life is for... He has yet to show me my purpose of life... sometimes i just wonder... has He forgotten me??? but then again... i'm glad to have friends as these...
ok... i think that's enough said... if i feel i should say more... then i'll blog again... and dun forget to look for me if you really got stumbled by my blog... especially those on that list!!!
# posted by babyflyaway// @ 10:41 PM 
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Decided to post whatever I typed on the tagboard here so it's more permanent, like whenever you browse through your archives and come across this depressing post, you'll read this comment and remember that it's not so bad after all! haha (:
I used to be asking those questions too. But you know what, your life IS all about serving Him and letting Him use you (: I guess we need to learn how to die to ourselves. When we ask questions like "God, why am I living?" when we already know that He has a purpose for us, we're actually saying, "God, doing your work is not enough. How abt what I want to achieve in life?"
We need to come to a point of complete brokeness before Him in total surrender. For me, that's an extremely difficult thing to accept and submit to. I'm constantly laying down my life at the altar cos the center of my life tends to shift off God sometimes. We can be so caught up in doing things for God that we forget why we serve and where we're going. Keep seeking Him for a renewed calling and a fresh revelation.
God hasn't forgetten you; He has a destiny for you. Go read Jer. 29:11-14, Jer. 33:3. God will reveal it to you in due time. Just keep trusting in Him to lead and guide you (:
I hope you'll find why you're looking for and when you seek God, that you will find Him. God bless!
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I used to be asking those questions too. But you know what, your life IS all about serving Him and letting Him use you (: I guess we need to learn how to die to ourselves. When we ask questions like "God, why am I living?" when we already know that He has a purpose for us, we're actually saying, "God, doing your work is not enough. How abt what I want to achieve in life?"
We need to come to a point of complete brokeness before Him in total surrender. For me, that's an extremely difficult thing to accept and submit to. I'm constantly laying down my life at the altar cos the center of my life tends to shift off God sometimes. We can be so caught up in doing things for God that we forget why we serve and where we're going. Keep seeking Him for a renewed calling and a fresh revelation.
God hasn't forgetten you; He has a destiny for you. Go read Jer. 29:11-14, Jer. 33:3. God will reveal it to you in due time. Just keep trusting in Him to lead and guide you (:
I hope you'll find why you're looking for and when you seek God, that you will find Him. God bless!
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